Go on a journey with me. Let’s talk about the life you’re about to lead. Ready? Let’s go…
Pump City: it’s a real place, and you just booked a one way ticket. All aboard the swole train. Is Pump City the greatest place to live? Ya damn right. Buy a house. Settle down. Live at 24-7 Gainz Ave. The view is spectacular.
Get a job as a researcher trying to cure swolliosis. Just kidding. There is no cure.
Go to the gym. It’s at corner of Swole St. and Quadzilla Dr. Lift heavy fucking weight. Live in a cloud of chalk dust and unnecessary-but-oh-so-satisfying grunts where you’ll use a squat rack to actually do squats. You know the place – the one most little gym boys are too intimidated to do unless they’re doing biceps curls. Get huge. Be happy.
Walk around. Scare neighborhood children. It’s like your Boo Radley – if Boo had been hit by a near fatal dose of gamma radiation and turned into the fucking Hulk. True heroes are never fully understood. That’s your cross to bear though. And you can carry it until you decide to snap it like a twig over your giant traps. Trapasaurus Rex.
Hulk plus Boo Radley plus T-Rex: a image too frightful for ol’ Harper Lee to even imagine.
Discover what is best in life. But you should know that already.
Welcome to Pump City. Let’s get to work.
- Hypertrophy. Pure hypertrophy. Not for the faint of heart. Lesser souls will be crushed under the immense demand of manliness. You’ve been warned.
- 6 weeks
Number of training sessions:
- 24 – no assessments needed ahead of time.
Suggested training frequency:
- 4 days per week (3 days a week is okay, but turns this into a 8 week cycle)
Suggested Programs Prior:
Suggested Programs After:
- Rising Sun macrocycle (RONIN then SHOGUN)
- Plates, metal or bumper
- Squat Rack
- Dumbbells / Kettlebells